Heavy...

As you all know, Back to the Future is doing the rounds at your local flee pit on it's 25 year anniversary. What you may not know is that it could have been a very different film and in a alternate 1985 it kinda was. Aside from a very different original script involving a fridge and an H-bomb - See Indy 4 - Marty McFly was gonna be played by Eric Stoltz. I remember reading this in one of my many BTTF annuals when I was a kid - but seeing Stoltz as Mcfly in this clip if pretty cool.

Indy 5...

F**k off.
Shia LaBeouf said it'll be crazy. Whatever.

They're digging in the wrong place. Again!

So the rumour mill surrounding Indiana Jones 5 keeps on grinding despite key players (Ford, Spielberg, LaBeouf) being skeptical. Indeed the only person who seems blindly optimistic is the man who caused all of the damage on Indy 4, George "creator and destructor of childhood dreams" Lucas. What has this mill spat out? Indiana Jones and the Bermuda Triangle... I shit you not.

As I say this is all, it would seem, just rumours so let's hope somebody smashes Big George's typewriter before he smashes any more dreams shall we?

Let everyone's favorite archeologist hang up his hat and whip with what little dignity he has left.

Prince of pauper...

Once more a video game is adapted to the big screen and once more it fails.

Not quite as badly as past efforts (Super Mario Bros.) but still for all it's leaping, jumping and impressive Parkour antics it still falls short. Mike Newell's Prince of Persia: The Sands Of Time adaptation efforts are sturdy and some of the set pieces are impressive enough but for a Bruckhiemer production you can't help feeling that there was simply not enough money in the pot.

The script feels as though it was written with a classic Indiana Jones vibe, in one scene it almost lifts dialogue straight from Raiders, but then re-written to explain the time bending powers of the mystical dagger maguffin. Indeed this explanation is so painfully over explained that you can't help feeling patronized. Jake Gyllenhaal never really reaches his stride as a leading man and God knows why they decided on his 'British' accent. The most solid performances come from Gemma Arterton as the plucky princess and Alfred Molina as the sleazy bandit whilst Sir Ben Kingsly simply put on loads of mascara and seemingly turned up for duties as a pantomime baddie.

That said it's not that bad a film, it ticks all of the genre boxes and although you won't be scoffing popcorn it is still and enjoyable romp. Let's just hope they don't angle for a sequel as it would be as pointless as making this film in the first place.

NAZIS! I hate these guys...

Yes everyone is still poking the Indiana Jones franchise with a pointy stick. Despite the Crystal Skull's poor story and shoddy gags Harrison Ford still proved that he had it in him to run, jump and climb trees. Let's try and forget Caddyshack gophers and atomic explosion survival using a fridge for a moment. I know it's hard.

The possibility of an Indy 5 could be seen as a good thing. Speilberg maintains that he was never really happy with the Crystal Skull script or indeed the lazy mcguffin so would he be prepared to tend the wounds? Who would they get to write it? I can only assume that Lucas has had his typewriter confiscated and been told to sit on his hands for fear of doing any more damage. Frank Darabont, as we all know, was on board for Indy IV until...well until something happened and then he wasn't. Let's just hope that IF the powers that be greenlight another installment that this time around people have more balls to speak up if a shoddy idea is presented. Here's what the man himself has to say...

Nine nine nine nine nine nine...

Please can we just leave it alone? Ford hints at another dumb Indy film.

I'm going out...

The Man In The Hat...

I was fortunate enough to attend the closing night of Film Four's Sommerset House screening season this summer. The film they chose to close with? Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark. Being a massive Indy fan it was a no brainer that I would enjoy myself, however there was something else. It wasn't just the magnificent surroundings or the nice weather. It wasn't the relaxed atmosphere or the fact that you can drink and smoke at your leisure. I think it was more the sense that the evening and indeed the season was about celebrating films. It was truly comforting to see so many people of varying ages, from families to old couples, to thirty somethings to teenagers. All of them had come to this place to watch one film and to really enjoy it. To wipe clean the stain made by the disappointing fourth film and wash it's bitter taste away with the original and best. Not only did it get a massive round of applause before it started, but also half way through and indeed at the end. Nobody walked out before the credits had run their course and everyone cleared up afterward. All I can say is well done Film Four and long may it continue.

YES!...

No no no no no no no....

Just found this article from October last year.
Harrison Ford thinks that George Lucas is in "think mode" to do another Indy film. Indy 5.
Fuck off.

We are going to die...

This has been around for ages...

You can't do this to me, I'm an AMERICAN...

If you thought Indy 4 was arse, check out this interview with a Mr. G. Lucas. The bit I liked was when he said:
'Steven wasn’t that enthusiastic. I was trying to persuade him. But now Steve is more amenable to doing another one.'
ANOTHER ONE! What? Have you seen Crystal Skull? And I wonder why he wasn't enthusiastic? Is that because of the dumb alien script?
He continues:
'Yet we still have the issues about the direction we’d like to take. I’m in the future; Steven’s in the past. He’s trying to drag it back to the way they were, I’m trying to push it to a whole different place. So, still we have a sort of tension. This recent one came out of that.'
He's trying to drag it back the way they were! What an idiot, why would anyone want that? I'm sure the fans would love to see where Lucas can take it, see how many CGI characters we can crowbar into a poorly written script. Why don't you set it in space or in another dimension? Or you could make him a ghost and he could do archeology on the banks of the river Styx in the underworld.
I'm going back to bed.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaah...

Popped into my local flea pit the other day to watch Kung Fu Panda, very good, I recommend it. Good animation, good story, good cast, good gags. Anyway I noticed in one of the fight scenes there was a familiar sound effect. A scream to be exact, the sort of scream you hear when someone gets pushed off a high thing.

I looked it up when I got back to the kennel and sure enough it was a 'Wilhelm Scream'.
The Wilhelm scream is something of a sound effects tradition; in 1951 on the film 'Distant Drums' with Gary Cooper, a scream was recorded for a scene where a man gets eaten by a alligator, as with most studio post stuff, the sound was archived and became available in Warner Bros. sound library. It was used again in 1953 in 'A Charge at Feather River' where a solder named Pvt. Wilhelm gets an arrow in his leg. And the name was coined.

The sound effect was then used in many other Warner Bros. releases, until in 1977 a sound designer by the name Ben Burtt was hired to create sound effects on 'Star Wars'. He had noted the use of the Wilhelm scream and decided to use it as his 'nod' to sound designers all over the world. Sort of in-joke. Ben Burtt went on to sound design for many films including the Indiana Jones trilogy and all the Star Wars films, often for Spielberg related pictures.

It gets used all the time these days, and once you know the sound you can't fail to miss it. There are some variations, and there have been other recordings of similar screams. Check out this compilation of the original scream and some of Burtt's uses for it, when they are all put together like this it seems amazing that it's not more obvious, but with years between the releases and hours of screen time, it just becomes another scream.

There is also a metal band called 'A Wilhelm Scream' that just goes to show, all 'metallers' are really just geeks who probably work in IT.

Check this list...

PART TIME...

Right my loves!!!!

There are many things wrong with the new Indiana Jones film but after some amount of therapy I can now talk about it without scratching at my eyes and howling at the moon!!! I don't want to rant or needlessly put anyone down but there are even some real basics that were glaringly just...well wrong. The story was weak to the point of being insulting to the franchise. That is not to say that there weren't elements of the fantastical in the original three, but at least they never really came to the front of the film. They were always something that happened around Indy. When I first heard rumor of the intention to cross the genre of space and Indy, I just thought that no one would be daft enough to actually think that it was a valid idea...I was wrong. I managed to recently find an old Marvel comic entitled The Further Adventures of Indiana Jones which it has to be said although a bit cheesy in parts is actually a stronger story and even looks better than Crystal Skull. Speaking of which; was it just me or was there no real connection to the object in question. My point is that historically the object in these films lends some weight to the story Firstly you have the Ark which is "a radio for talking to God". Secondly you have the stone in Temple of Doom; which although flimsy at least there is an entire village that are depending on it and of course the third film uses the cup of Christ.

So the problem being that no-one actually cares about the Crystal Skull. There is no connection and very little back story to it we are almost asked to just accept that it is important to the story. Well I'm sorry but if I'm going to suspend my disbelief, I'll need some convincing. None of the characters really mention it after the first half of the film or if they do it's always with some underlying disdain. This translates so effectively that the piece in question ends up looking like something you might find in a plastic egg!!!!

Also for such an established team the editing was poor, the grade changed all the way through, at least it was more consistent than the story which was seemingly written by a blind dyslexic, and the inclusion of gophers was an absolute joke...and not a funny one.

In the words of Columbo; there is just one more thing and this may be the most annoying thing. In the trailer, when Harrison Ford recites the admittedly inspired line of "Part time" in response to the question that he is a teacher, he sounds like Indy should: Confident, cocky but cleverly a little wiser. I was impressed that seemingly a lot of effort and thought had gone into the process. However my good impressions were short lived. Whilst sitting in the cinema eagerly watching my world fall apart, I was shocked when the line delivered in the actual film was completely different. It sounded wrong. It sounded like Harrison Ford was having a bad day and they used a dodgy take. I suggest in future when G. Lucas decides to blow the dust off of one of his franchises he should simply go and have a shit...and maybe take an Indy comic to read whilst he's in there.

No Ticket...

Just thought you might like to know that during the filming of the touching father/son chat on the Hindenberg in "The Last Crusade" neither Sean Connery or Harrison Ford were wearing trousers. This is due to a condition that Connery has that makes him "sweat profusely". What a lovely thought...I won't be sniffing his bottom!!!!!

Those nerds are a threat to our way of life...

Whilst languishing in the Doghouse chewing on my bone, I've been reading scripts. Old, new, sold, unsold, different drafts - check the Good Smells... for links.

I find the development of an idea from conception to realization very interesting and to read the first draft of a film that has been released is quite insightful. What goes and what stays and how a director, crew and actors have interpreted the text.

In some cases you can also see ideas being recycled and moved from project to project.
For example in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull there is a scene where Indy escapes from a nuclear blast in a lead lined fridge. As unbelievable as this gag is, it looks like it might just be a recycled idea from the original draft of Back to the Future by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale back in 1981, also produced by Frank Marshall and Steven Spielberg.

In the original script; to generate time travel Doc Brown uses direct nuclear power, not electricity - and in 1955 the only nuclear source is at a military testing base - starting to sound familiar? Lead lining of the fridge protects Marty and he is sent back to the future.

Director Robert Zemeckis said in an interview that the idea was scrapped because he and Steven Spielberg did not want children to start climbing into refrigerators and getting trapped inside.

I wonder.

You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do...

I know I keep barking on about the disastrous new Indiana Jones film, But for any dogs out there who are trying to get the bad taste out of your muzzle, check this out. A script for Indy IV from '95 penned by Chris Columbus - of Gremlins and Goonies fame.
Still not what I was waiting for, but I didn't read about any gophers.
Woof.

Fly yes, write no...

Saw it again today.

Damn you Lucas...